I am getting depressed, getting the negative vibes on i-dunno-what…

I cried alot recently. (NO, not pms, the funniest thing is i dont usually get irritated/agitated during PMS days.)

I kept it to myself.

At the end of the day, I wanted to kill myself for not letting it out.

I just need one particular person to be there for me to SCREAM at, but yet i dun wan he/her to pity me.

I think i am having the retribution, GOd is punishing me for the nasty things that i always used to do in the past, so now thats what they say , ” An eye for an eye”…

And i am suffering it now.

Boo’s Mum just called me. She must had tot his son was mad, to be with a emotionally unstable woman like me.

But nothing much was said. She just consoled me.

My friend say i am like a child, fighting for ATTENTION, that is why im acting the way im now.

Whatever it is, 3more days to end 2005. Wasnt a nice yr to end it though.

2006 will be a great one for me.

Like the word say, is past, past tense = already happened. Throw it away, fuck it off and move on.

U know what the ironic thing is?

I cant do it. I am just not moving out of the shit i am now.

Fuck

Me.

The Long awaited Xmas Dinner…is worth waiting for and certainty thumbs up…followed by freshly own baked walnut cake and log cake from BakerInn.

A whole night of food, wine, Budweiser, Gin, Vodka, yakking and of course presents… We start ripping off the wrappers at 12am, just like small kid. i got stuffs like necklaces, coin purse etc.

Slept over at Boo’s hse and this morning, i still made it to work, for the sake of extra bucks on public holiday. I stoned throughout 5hrs of work and even mix up sour cream and butter…lol..

I opt out from shopping today, to stay indoors with the nice weather…

Wrapping Xmas present and run out of paper..

Then out of the blue, i spring clean my room..i dumped away 8 pairs of footwear, abt 30pieces of clothes…I dun dare to calculate the amt of money being thrown away..

I was at home cursing away, miserably eating noodles while boo enjoying himself at ShangriLa for his D&D…

But i was blessed..Hao came to pick me up.. With a pack of 5 wolves and me being the only female species, i was treated lil a princess for the night. We drove down to Orchard and “bio cai” at Coffee Club…$70 flew away on mud pie, choco fondue, pasta and drinks..-too sinful…

Nice weather to sleep tonight. and that stupid Boo too engrossed to reply my sms…

Desperate Housewife was screened on China tv recently. Being the conversative them (they deem so), they changed it to crazy housewife, for “desperate” seems to have sexual contents in it. Kissing, Crimes & sex scenes were censored off. What there to see?? since all the hot scenes were off the screen.

Tattoo gog to be done on Xmas Eve at Francis hse…. shld i?

Excitedly looking forward to dinner at Francis hse on eve….

2005 coming to an end… Looking back, been a peaceful yr..Quite a heap lots done this yr…

Clubbing Happening..

1) After 3yrs clubbing, 1st time saw Jie puked at Insomia..
2) Cut down on Clubbing this yr… though frequenting DBL O recently.
3) but then, 1st time Puked lil no body biz at Devil.. made myself so embarrasseed in Kel’s car..
4) Declined MOS invites…
5) Zouk reopened..but yet to visit.
6) Again, i always enjoyed myself with my old club gangz…
7) New place– Balcony at Heerens…in love with it..
8) Lastly, sizzling photos at the club..with all the snogging..

Love Affairs

1) Ironic as it is, my poly groupie all broke off with our respectively bfs this yr..and started a new one.. pending for Ning…will she this yr?
2) Me- ended a 2yrs rs… I am thankful to him for the love he showered…
3) Me- started a new rs with a guy i never in my life, think that i will be with him…
4) Flings is the “in” stuffs this yr..
5) Finally, i decided i shld let go of him. is unhealthy holding on to an impossible after 5yrs…
6) Am still happily attached. though he isnt sweet, romantic, nice, caring, generous, gentle half the time…

Sch VS Work thingy

1) Graduated with Diploma in Business Studies -Tourism & Leisure Mgt. after 3yrs of “do nothing and party alot”…
2) Started work at UOB…now i understand what they say abt having a female boss..An old mofo i had
3) Decided to give it a quit…. Back to sch life in Nov- Monash Uni Bch of psy. & Biz.
4) Ning & Ting back to SIM next yr Jan..
5) ALL the guys in camp to be real man….

Travel

1) The best of time i had for 11days for my Cambodia-Thailand backpack trip in Apr.
2) Again, to sabah…rafting…island hopping..with same old peeps… How can i do w/o my travel group.?
3) Hongkong… Company trip…. Stay in 6* hotel… lugged back too much clothes..

Argh…i cant rem what else happenend this yr..

Oh ya,, the best of gift. my driving license gotten this yr..

Merry Christmas..

Exam- 6 & 7 Feb 2006
New Semester – Last week of Feb..
2 weeks of rest… that the problem with studyin on summer sem. i reckon i will b working during the 2weeks.

I haven done ANY christmas shopping at all, even when i alr. knew what to buy. i even resort to online shopping..keke…Shopping slave to Boo’s family, this Wed out shopping with his mum & sis, Thurs with Boo in search for his D&D attire for Fri at Sentosa Shangrila…. Cool eh..but too bad they din mention of bringing spouse/better half. So i guess i am out of the picture…

Working morning on Xmas Eve & Xmas Day..With the extra bucks on festive season, of course i want to work. Looking forward to my payday, get my hands on the tidy neat lil sum of money.

I wanna go midnight shopping at Marina Square. I wan, i wan, i wan, i wan….echo………

Finally Bingz is back today at 7am.. Apparently he went missing for 2 FREAKING WEEKS, or should i say he was “kidnapped” by the neighbours of the same block. How dare they have the audacity to do this to my poor baby?
Sometimes things are just so miraculous, the people at the temple said Bingz will go missing, and another visit, he assured us saying 2weeks later, he will come back. True enuff, today marks 2 full weeks.
Let take it that he went for a 2weeks holiday ba..keke..
I am going to see him next week, i miss him too much…

I am on the verge of ignoring my marketing essay 2hrs ago, gonna given up, delay to tml, when i msg Andy. He has always been there for me virtually or in presence, inspire me alot. He give me ideas, in fact alot of creative one, that it set me gog, that why i am still doing at this time, Thankful to him..it make me smiles..

Tml on morning shift again. Today i was rotting at the rest., too bored with no customers, when this guy from next door rest. came over to take my no. I gave but replied in very short sentences..like ok..lol… You wont call it a sentence though.

Back to my essay. Boo say if i cant finish, he is not bringing me down to his frd’s pub tml night.
An evil Threat.

“Crawling Back To You”

Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you
Baby I was wrong
Yeah I know I said we’d be better off alone
It was time that we moved on
I know I broke your heart, I didn’t mean to break your heart
But baby here I am

Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and I’m crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I’m crawling back to you

I know you’re in there and you can make me wait
But I’m not gonna wait
It’s the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face
I was lying to myself, now I’m dying in this hell
Girl I know you’re mad, I can’t blame you for being mad
But baby here I am

Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised and now I’m crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in?
I was running from the truth and now I’m crawling back to you

If you could see these tears I’m crying
Touch these hands that can’t stop shaking
Hear my heart that’s barely beating
You will see a different man

Why doesnt this song exist years back when i need u badly to come back? I should left behind where we stop and move forward, never to look back again. but yet this song say so much about us.

Ning was drunk on sat without my existence. She shldnt live on the fact that whenever she is drunk, is always me ard. No direct cause and effect. lol.

1000 words more to completing my essay, Fri is drawing near. Why doesnt Poly train us on proper referencing? i had a mad time doing a proper one.

How sad to be chionging marketing project on a Sat.

Give Lisa’s birthday a miss. Hey..girl..Happy Birthday…

Tml 12hrs work. whole day on the feet. Slp early tonight.

Almost murdered Sharon today. Supposely to meet her after work.. called her zillion times, she just doesnt pick up my call. Sitting and waiting for her to call, this uncle beside me start talking to me, saying we are fated to meet, wanna make friends? HELLO!!!! U r even older than my dad, hmmm…unless u rich, then i can consider… He bade me farewell, asking me again, as if i would friend him on second consideration…Finally, Stupid Sharon called and said she FORGOTTEN about me.. HEY…so sad… i am out of her life…No Xmas gift for her..

What a nice surprise.. Boo turned up at my place with a pre Xmas gift, he think he hide it so well, turning down the vol of the car radio when i called, saying he was still at work, i knew something was fishy when i could almost hear his chuckle.

Was this cute toy singing Xmas song when i press the button. Lame though but nice. Took the risk of buying even though he knew i hated stuffed toy.

Is sweet when someone wake up in the middle of the night and say he love u…..