I decided…

Complaining/whining get me no where especially when I ain’t cute 😦 so half the time people don’t show me much sympathy, and the things I cared about may not be what they care about as well. So I guess I shall be a better person from now on (I am always nice just that I am KP abit) and sulk lesser and don’t give so many opinions. If you guys like this, then I abide by it lor :), if u like that, then I go with the flow lor, Im tired of being upset and sulky.

We all have different viewpoints, just like some say is half full some say half empty, I am sick of people pretending to like what I suggested and then KPKB later on.

And I don’t wanna blog here for the time being or maybe not anymore.

Numbed

Merry Christmas to all! Did you guys have a gd christmas and a wonderful time feasting and boozing?

Mine was quiet, just dinner at sixth ave and crashing at friends’ house, wasn’t in the festive mood, it felt just like any other day but I do appreciate the looonnnggg weekend and I felt such a bum now. Is gonna be another 3days of wrk before the long weekend is here again. 🙂

You know, I don’t know who I can trust nowadays, I don’t know what I believe in now, what went wrong? Maybe is me, but I don’t feel like socialising nowadays, I don’t feel like talking to anyone but I do like talking to myself in the head, sometimes I wish people can just leave me alone but at times, when I am in e car, looking through my phone book trying to find someone to call and talk, I got lost cause I don’t know who I can call and talk and at the end of the day, I reached home feeling like a total loser.

Was it love? Commitment? Obligation? Responsibility?

I can’t feel me.

Where is the love

I have been short tempered recently, nit picking on every small possible matter and flare it up, and I am tired, and is affecting every one around me.I tried to supress it and not make a mole hill out of nothing but always I ended up feeling angry and crying to sleep.

Every incident that is happening recently around me only add on to my skeptism, I wish there is someone who can listen to me and not judge me.

I miss my friends.

I think I having a mild case of depression.

I know of this girl,

who came from an unhappy case of parent’s marriage,who never celebrate her birthday with them in her entire life, she envies friends who go out for birthday dinner with their family members, she grew up in the hands of caregiver while her parents are out slogging at work, her caregiver locked her in a dark room, she cried and pounced on the door pleading for help, nobody opened the door for her, she cried helplessly at the stairway pleading for her mum not to go to work when all she saw was the saddening eyes of her mum, she grew up feeling scared of her own house with different strangers lingering around in and out as the years passed. To her, is only a house and not a home.

Her first boyfriend dumped her for another woman, her 2nd one dumped her as well, due to parental objection. Every time when she put in her heart and soul in a man, either she got cheated emotionally or physically. She resorted to pain when she was still not legal of age to boozing, she loved cutting herself, pain gave her happiness. When she was 18, she resorted to abusive drinking, cause to her, she thinks that the whole world love her. She swore never to get married, she won’t never trust men again, they are just bastards who are out to cheat her.

Just when she thought she gave up all hopes, she met this man, right from the very first day, she knew she is in love with him, cases of unhappy moments with men ceased, she found happiness, she is happy and she proudly told herself she wants to be this man’s wife. She don’t mind his past, she just wants to be with him.

But now she is tired again.

She wishes things were much simpler than before.

:(

I.am.not.happy.every.single.day

Ghost of the ex gf friend’s past

His friend unintentionally slipped of mouth, and called me by his ex gf griend’s name.

so?

Why is it so?

I am not happy and I don’t know why,

I don’t know since when I lost the belief in trusting, in believing, in confidence, in security and etc.

Sometimes, in life, you don’t expect everything to fall neatly into place.

I am paranoid, I am jittery and I hate it.

I am biting, go away

Tears rolling scene behind office cubicle, I guess isn’t a glamourous thing.

And I always thought I could handle stress well, much better than anyone else and my conclusion is, I overestimated myself.

I try to be the perfect girlfriend, so that you will be proud of me,

I try to be the good daughter at home, but is hard,

I try to be an excellent co worker but the air in the office is stiff,

I try to be nice to my well worthy friends,

and when in the end, fuck it, I told myself. I ain’t going to try so hard, I shall be whateva I want to be, I shall say what I wanna say, I shall do what I wanna do, cause at the end of the day, I cannot please everyone in this entire universe.

Side Note: I JUST CALLED THE DAMN HR, SHE IS AWAY FROM HER DESK. DAMN THEM.

The senseless tingle of emotion

I hate waiting, especially when you can’t do anything except to wait, and I been waiting for an important call for the past 1 week, damn them, is driving my nerves crazy and irritate the hell out of everyone.

I am back from my KL trip and I need to shed a few of those extra pounds, cause it was crazy driving around here and there for food.

These few days I woke up feeling depressed, mixed emotion maybe, of whether history will repeat itself and everything that been running through my mind. I woke up startled, usually by a nightmare, that my love is gone, left me for good, or either that, become a changed person. I almost feel like crying, and I immediately hug the sleeping man next to me for comfort, but still it doesn’t soothe me much, though it kind of calm me down and that everything is just a plain stupid dream.

“Physically attached, soulfully detached”, I ain’t sure if you know what it mean, but it randomly pop up at the back of my mind a few days ago. And this is what I been feeling.

Fuck the emotion.

Boycott Oosh

I was down last Sat to witness the love of Bryan and Christine at Oosh and I wanna complained how Oosh really rendered POOR SERVICE AND ATTIDUE.

For all my years in the F&B line (and mind you, is not some fast food joint), but franchises across the state of US, Indon and even Sg, we were taught on providing excellent services since day 1 and because because customers are paying a hefty price for their food, everything is a package, from services to food to ambience and what nots. Every wk, there will be companies holding their lunch seminars and before they arrived, menus are checked through for any muslim, Indian or special dietary stuff and all these are outsourced fr our side.

BUT BUT BUT,

The bride paid quite a big sum for 200 pax which is much more expensive than top notch high class atas hotel but never mind about that, what they are looking for is the ambience and not doing the usual stuff like hotel.

However, when Sat arrived, it was not like what it was supposed to be.

I was already complaining before I reached, cos there are some guests going on vegetarian food, I personally feel that Oosh should provide and be it outsourced or specially prepared by their own chef. BUT, u know what, the bride have to get it from Tung Lok himself, and we as his bestest friends, went to collect. I am more than willing to do this small bit for them, but HELLOOOO, we are guests, we are dressed well but we need to collect it ourselves.

Ok nvm, maybe I am petty. Forget it. Next, buffet supposed to end at 10pm, by 930pm, all their servers went missing, my frds had to get the beers himself making few rounds from the bar to the table. Shark fins is in the menu, is BUFFET RITE, mean UNLIMITED RITE mean U NEED TO REPLENISH AS AND WHEN THE FOOD IS GOING TO BE EMPTIED. but come to the end, shark fin is replaced by TOMATO PUREE LEI!!!!!!!!!OMFG, how to justify???? u tell me???? SHARK FIN AND TOMATO PUREE….. isn’t it a laughing stock u tell me huh? Some of the guests went on empty stomach, cos not enough food to go around and even had to buy their own food. It was really a bad night, cos the bride and groom ended up negiotating with them for 1hr as they tried to make them pay for this and that by clearly saying that there are more than 200 guests so hv to charge extra. But the truth was there were less than 200 guests who turned up, BAD SERVICES, NOT ENUFF FOOD and they still dared to FUCKING CHARGED EXTRA.

Marriage, once in a life time, is supposed to be a day where they usher in the congrats and well wishes by friends, families. but they spent their time negiotating  for  the unfair treatment bestow on  us. At the end of the day, they made up for it with 2 pizzas and 2 appetitizers. *Shake head* really!!!!! while the remaining of us sat in the cellar room to fill our barely full stomach, they said their MONT BLANC pen (used for the guest to sign the guest book) went missing, the bride at this point of time got no more energy to argued back, if he see it he returned, if he don’t, he paid. When asked how much, it was $76.!!!!!!!!!!!!! $76 for a mont blanc pen lei,, I also want lor….

We loved going Dempsey to chill out, be it Dome, Harry’s or camp etc. but this time round, we boycott OOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and side note: Ben & Jerry at Dempsey rd as well…